At some point in our lives we are, unfortunately, all touched by loss. Early this year, we learned my step mother was dying of cancer. Our family was struggling to cope with this when my beautiful-inside-and-out-sister, Mary Kathryn Beard Moore, died suddenly on May 18th. She was 49 years old. We were 18 months apart; and as I am the little sister, there has never been a day that she has not been in my life.
In addition to being my sister, she was my best friend and one of the people I admired most. She was the funniest person in the family, witty but so intelligent. We shared books, talked about movies and daily life. But one of the most enjoyable and enduring links in our lives was needle work.
She learned to crochet when she was in the third grade and I was in second. I still remember her crocheting until the watermelon colored skein was completely used up, then unraveling it and starting again. We joked in later life that she never finished any of her needlework projects — perhaps it was because of that single ball of yarn.
We learned to knit when I was in 5th grade and she was in 6th, and she had taken it up again in recent years. She had also amazed me by taking up the tedious art of tatting and mastering it! She delighted and inspired me with her creativity, talent and determination, not just in sewing but in every aspect of her life.
We made duct tape dress forms together with our mother. It was perhaps one of the funniest things I have ever done – and it was Mary who made it fun. It was my idea and I was serious about it, but for her it was just hilarious.

We did joke about her not finishing things. But it wasn’t really that she didn’t finish, it was just that finishing one project didn’t seem like such a big deal in comparison to all of the others in progress. One of the things she finished for me was a jacket. I had fallen in love with the pattern that fall. I know how much dedication went into her making the jacket and having it done by that Christmas! The jacket is flannel, but the trees are pieces from scraps of fabric from leftover projects of mine. It is a symbol not only of her love and thoughtfulness to me but also a gift of the many memories of the happy times I spent sewing with those fabrics.

If Mom carried the megaphone, Mary carried the pom poms in my cheering section when I went back to college to earn my BFA in fashion design. She has been a constant encourager, sounding board and friend as I have started my business and ventured into the world as a fiber artist and designer.
When I came home from her memorial, I was only two weeks away from 2 important deadlines – my first magazine article for Designs in Machine Embroidery and my Bernina Fashion Show design. I was reeling with pain and overwhelming grief, and I had a decision to make. If I backed out of the projects, certainly everyone would understand under the circumstances, as I felt I was not prepared to go on with them. However, I was re-reading some e-mails between my sister and me. Mary had written “… Our dream has to be our constant motivation whenever we tire and despair. Keep your dream always in front of you – the why of what we’re doing.” She was gone, unable to pursue her own dreams any longer; but I believed she would have wanted me to keep going. So I decided to complete the projects. I made the decision on sheer willpower; but as I began the work, it brought with it a solace that I did not expect.
The ability to create when destruction abounds is a powerful thing. As I began the work on the designs, I cried often and thought constantly of my sister. As the work progressed, I was able to smile at my successes, to lose myself in the work and begin to feel that my life would go on, that there could be peace and purpose amidst the overwhelming sorrow; and I believe I was able to honor her through continuing to work towards my dreams. I did meet the deadlines, and both my Bernina design for 2008 and the upcoming project in Designs in Machine Embroidery’s Sep/Oct issue, are dedicated to my amazing sister.
As time goes on, and even as this year progresses, her absence will shape me into a “new normal” as one of my friends said. My life and my work will reflect my love, admiration and appreciation for my sister and for my step-mother as well, who lost her battle with cancer on June 22nd.
There are those reading this who have experienced such losses or know of someone who has. I encourage you – don’t give up on the things you enjoy or let those you love do so either. Let your creativity and craft bring you solace; find a way to let your creativity begin to bring healing to your heart and soul.
My hope is simply that after you read this blog, that you will take some time to think of yourself, your family and friends and the things you/they are going through. It is so easy in our modern age to lose that vital personal contact with one another (and experts say that e-mail just isn’t an effective personal contact.) Don’t let another day go by without letting those you love know how much you care.
And if you have suffered a loss and let go of the things you enjoy or are passionate about, I encourage you to pick it up again. Perhaps you, like me, will find the ability to begin to see a tomorrow through the process of creating.
Diana